I Shall Try My Hand At Sportswriting

It has been two days since the end of the 2008 NFL Draft, and I have some thoughts.

In general:

- Miami made absolutely the right choice with their first overall pick by going with Jake Long. Like any offensive lineman, he won't often be in the limelight, but Long has the skills and experience to give the Dolphins a much-needed boost. They also selected Chad Henne in the second round, showing their relative lack of faith in John Beck.

- Baltimore should not have chosen Delaware QB Joe Flacco in the first round. He has tons of potential and with his physical skills, he will develop into a good quarterback, but with Steve McNair's retirement, the Ravens need help at the position now. Do they really believe that Flacco can manage an NFL-style offense better than Louisville's Brian Brohm or Michigan's Chad Henne, at least in the next year or two?

- Contracts for rookie players are absolutely astonishing. Last year, JaMarcus Russell signed a six-year, $61 million contract, with $35 million in guarantees (Thanks to RotoWorld for this information). This all for a guy who has never taken a single snap in the NFL. Essentially, these guys are being paid for their great college careers. That's all well and good, but even the casual football fan can give you the names of fantastic college players that crapped out in the NFL. It's a huge risk for a team to pay rookies this much, but the alternative is having to deal with endless holdouts and other such distractions.


Now, for dem Stillers.

1) Rashard Mendenhall (RB, Illinois)
2) Limas Sweed (WR, Texas)
3) Bruce Davis (LB, UCLA)
4) Tony Hills (OT, Texas)
5) Dennis Dixon (QB, Oregon)
6) Mike Humpal (LB, Iowa)
7) Ryan Mundy (S, West Virginia)

- I am surprised that we waited until the fourth round to pick up an offensive lineman; the entire line underperformed last year, and it doesn't help that we lost Alan Faneca to the Jets. I understand not selecting one in the first round; by the time we picked at 23, all of the O-linemen worth a first round pick were gone. Fourth round, though?

- I like the selection of Limas Sweed. He is tall enough to win a jump ball with a cornerback, and fast enough to get behind safeties. I agree with Hines Ward that we didn't NEED a tall wide receiver, but it's nice to have one. Hines, Santonio, and Sweed are going to bother some defenses this year.

- Rashard Mendenhall was a good choice for the 23rd pick. Willie Parker is an excellent running back, but the 2007 season showed that he has trouble handling the every-down role for a full season. Mendenhall changes it up with a tendency to run inside, and is a good receiver out of the backfield. The Steelers have the makings of an even more formidable ground game next year.

- Dennis Dixon was an interesting choice. He suffered a knee injury at the end of last season, but he is fast and athletic enough to work out as a receiver if necessary, and one who can throw the ball at that. He could definitely be a more effective, albeit a backup, version of Kordell Stewart if we use him right.

- We love drafting linebackers.

I Don't Need Your Civil War...

If Hillary Clinton wants to see a Democrat in the White House come November, it is time for her to get out of the race. It's that simple. She is too far behind in terms of pledged delegates for her to have any hope of catching Barack Obama. She claims that she is ahead in the popular vote, which is only true if one counts Florida and Michigan, where Obama did not appear on the ballot due to the Democratic Party's sanctions against those states (So yes, she beat nobody). She is also seeing more and more of the so-called 'superdelegates' defect to Obama's camp. It is these three truths that make it all but certain that the Democratic nominee for the White House in 2008 will be Barack Obama.

Clinton claims to be fighting the good fight; not giving up and taking her campaign to the Democratic National Convention. While normally such a course of action would be a symbolic show of toughness and conviction, the truth is that Clinton's determination to stay in the race might very well allow John McCain to win in the general election. McCain's candidacy was determined months ago; since then, he has been laying the groundwork for the big show. Despite the conservative base's discontent with McCain's moderate policies, the Republican Party is relatively unified behind him. Both Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney have come out in support of their former opponent. He has been going after both Clinton and Obama in his campaign speeches.

And thus lies the problem. The Republican movement is geared up for the general election. Money is being raised, advertisements are coming together, and the campaign strategy is being formed. Meanwhile, the Democrats are still in primary mode. Clinton and Obama continue to snipe and attack each other, further dividing the Democratic Party and wasting money that could be put to use against the Republicans.

Between Iraq, the falling economy, the administration's mismanagement of the Hurricane Katrina response, and the massive impending deficit, there is absolutely no reason why the Democrats should not be able to claim not only the White House, but wider leads in both the House and Senate come November. No reason, that is, except for the chronic infighting brought on by Clinton's stubbornness. If she backs out of the race, the party will unify behind the idealism of Barack Obama and recapture the optimism and energy that it had a year ago. In such an instance, it is hard to envision a situation in which McCain can pull out a victory.

Author's Note: I am in no way endorsing Barack Obama. I find him to be a big-government liberal with little in the way of fiscal responsibility, albeit one with an unusual idealism. However, I despise Hillary Clinton and I find John McCain, the Bush administration, and the majority of the Republican Party, anathema to the term 'conservative'. This post is simply an attempt at a neutral analysis of the Democrats' situation. Come November, I will most likely vote for either the Libertarian candidate or write-in Ron Paul.

Go Time

Beaumont, TX

We have arrived at the YMCA in Beaumont, behind which sits a large blue trailer where we will be living for the next seven weeks. There is a team from Perry Point here right now, but they are heading back to Maryland on Sunday; another team will be down in a little more than a week to replace them. Work begins on Monday; it's nice to have a couple days to unpack and get to know the area before we have to get busy.

Our living setup isn't bad; it is not one trailer but rather four combined to make one surprisingly large building, complete with bathrooms, a lounge, several different sleeping rooms, and storage. It won't be bad, but apparently we will be forced to move at the beginning of June due to the YMCA's summer camp programs. The problem, unfortunately, is that at the moment, we are not sure where our housing will be at that point. Oh, the joys of government service.

I am quite enthusiastic about one particular aspect of our housing: there is, apparently, a Waffle House within walking distance. Why, might you ask, does this excite me so much? The answer is simple: Waffle House is a brilliant place. It's cheap, greasy, and open all night. What's not to like? Since our team will be cooking for ourselves, it will most likely be useful to have a place like that to go when (not if) one of our cooking attempts go astray.

Onto other matters. My Penguins overcame a 3-0 second-period deficit against the New York Rangers to win the first game of their semifinal series tonight. It was AWESOME. The Rangers are good, but we're on a roll this year.

And I seem to be the only person around that is actually excited about the NFL Draft tomorrow. I can understand why many football fans aren't fond of it; there's no actual football, it moves too slowly, and these kids are getting paid obscene sums of money without having ever taken a snap in the NFL. I love it, however, and I'll tell you why. It's all about the potential that these guys represent. They are, for better or worse, the future of the teams that they join tomorrow and Sunday, and the anticipation that comes along with such a label is palpable. For example, most casual Dolphins fans won't marvel at the play of their first overall pick, tackle Jake Long. They know, however, that Long will most likely be on the left side of their line for the next decade, clearing paths for the running game and giving their quarterback protection. So who will the Rams draft at #2? What about my Steelers, or the rival Browns, Ravens, and Bengals? Furthermore, who will those players become: the next Joe Montana, Reggie White, Jim Brown...or the next Ryan Leaf or Ki-Jana Carter? I LOVE THE DRAFT.

Ahem. Rant over. Thank you for your time.

Enscorcellement

Jackson, MS

With our first project behind us, we are here in a hotel in Jackson for our transition week between projects. Normally we would drive back to Denver, but since our next project is just five hours away in Beaumont, TX, it isn't worth the six-day round trip for two-odd days of meetings. The meetings, of course, are the typical federal mix of the nitpick-y and the interminably boring. We'll be in Beaumont on Friday night, and will start work on Monday morning; we'll be doing the same kind of construction there that we were in New Orleans.

It's good to take a little time off from the communal living and cold showers of Camp Hope, but I can't help but think that Beaumont will be considerably less fun than New Orleans. It will be good to work closely with my team though.

We Are Merely Players, Performers and Portrayers

If there are any Rush fans reading this, I DEFINITELY recommend getting tickets for the second leg of their Snakes and Arrows tour. I saw them last night in the New Orleans Arena, and it was an awesome show. Unsurprisingly, they played a decent amount of material from their new album of the same name, but no Rush concert is complete without a litany of their classics. They kicked it off with Limelight, the song that first got me interested in the band. Tom Sawyer, YYZ, The Spirit of Radio all followed; they played Witch Hunt and Red Barchetta, both from their brilliant Moving Pictures album. They also played the first two parts of their prog-rock epic 2112, which in its entirety is 20-some minutes long. Neil Peart demonstrated once again why he is the best drummer on earth with a 10-minute solo during which he put all of his massive wrap-around kit to good use, and guitarist Alex Lifeson and bassist Geddy Lee tore it up with the energy and chemistry that makes Rush such a legendary band. Go see them, it's an absolutely amazing show.

I have been trying my hand at writing songs again recently, and I have discovered that I'm still terrible at it. For some reason all of my songs are essentially about the same thing, and since I have no idea how to read/write actual music, what I end up with is a mediocre collection of poems that leave no question as to how much of a bitter and cynical asshole I am. Gives me something to do during meetings, though. I have a bunch of them saved on here and I keep going back and attempting to revise, thinking that at some point I will have an epiphany and write Lennon-esque lyrics. Right. Perhaps I should just concentrate on learning to drum.

Ceiling Unlimited

Yesterday marked my last day of work with the New Orleans Area affiliate of Habitat for Humanity. Our team has completed its first-round project, and will be heading to Beaumont, TX this week to start work there.

I will be honest: I do not want to leave. I came to this realization yesterday afternoon during work, and it surprised me. For a little less than two months, my team has been going through the same routine day after day, week after week, until at one point, the entire project felt like one vastly long and monotonous day. This last week, however, has been different. The group of volunteers that we have been working with have been absolutely amazing; three or four of them had extensive construction experience, so they were able to accomplish tasks quickly, efficiently, and correctly with little in the way of supervision. This might not seem like a big deal, but keep in mind that on a typical week, I have had to spend much of my time checking on volunteers' work and correcting them quite often. Having a group that was able to work as well as they did and do it right the first time was refreshing.

So, I will miss those guys from Vermont, New Hampshire, Michigan, and the US Navy. I'm going to miss Adam and Danny, my awesome site supervisors who taught me how to do both the big things (raising walls, roofing) and the little things (setting nails, shimming). I'm going to miss Chuck and Joy, the future homeowners who currently live in a FEMA trailer behind the site. I'll miss all the awesome college and high school kids who spent their spring break down here building the house instead of partying. I'll miss the church groups that worked their asses off all week (but not the ones that asked me if I had found Jesus). I'll miss the world's best barbecue at a little hole-in-the-wall place called The Joint. I will miss the city of New Orleans itself; not just the jazz clubs on Frenchmen and the cool little shops on Royal in the French Quarter, or the awesome po-boys and red beans and rice at Mothers. Rather, it's the culture and the vibe of the city that I will miss; that indefatigable spirit that insists on its own rebirth in the wake of tragedy. This city took a hell of a hit in 2005, and there is still vast amounts of work to be done, but if there is one thing that I can take away from this project, it is my absolutely certainty that, thanks to the citizens, the locals, and the occasional volunteer, the city of New Orleans is going to rise out of the ashes of Katrina and Rita. It might take a while, but I know that for my part, I will be back.

Nobody's Fault But Mine

Anybody that knows me well can tell you that I am not a fan of planning. I find that it's far too cold and clinical to eliminate all chances of spontaneity from an event; being able to wing it is half the fun of a road trip or something of the sort. When things go astray from your grand plan, as they invariably will, you must be able to react and adapt. Over-planning makes this difficult.

However, there are exceptions. I have recently learned the value of having a backup plan in case things go completely to hell. Let me explain. To my chagrin, I learned several days ago that there is a chance, and not a small one, that I might be thrown out of Americorps. There is, of course, a story behind this that I would be glad to tell people, but I don't feel like typing it all down. Regardless. I will do my best to negotiate with the people in charge to stay in (or, failing that, allowing me to voluntarily withdraw as opposed to being kicked out) but my eternal pessimism leads me to believe that such an effort might be a waste of time. Nothing has been decided yet, however.

Hence my backup plan. At the moment, if Americorps lets me go, my plan is to head home for a week or so to get things in order and receive the obligatory ass-chewing from my parents, then pack up, catch a Greyhound to Georgia and begin hiking north on the Appalachian Trail (a backpacking trail that runs from Georgia up the East Coast and ends in Maine) taking pictures and writing along the way. I doubt I'll have the fortitude or money to complete the whole thousand-plus mile trek, but I shall do my best to make it as far as I can. After that, who the hell knows.

And onto other things. My Pittsburgh Penguins have proven that they are the class of the NHL, sweeping the Ottawa Senators out of the playoff race in four games. The Senators, if you remember, eliminated the Penguins last year in four games. Payback is a bitch. It is unknown who they will face next round thus far, but they have been looking like contenders all year and that trend will continue throughout the playoffs. GO PENS.

Not much in the way of football news lately, unfortunately; I hate the NFL off-season. The draft is coming up this weekend and I'm remarkably excited. Yes, I will be spending that Saturday at work, but will be receiving frequent updates from people back home. The Steelers have got to concentrate on their offensive line; it was the team's weak spot last year even before we lost all-world guard Alan Faneca to the Jets. I'm hoping for Jeff Otah myself; he went to Pitt and is used to the rough playing surface at Heinz Field. Plus, he's a local boy and will go over well with the fans. If he's off the board by the time the Steelers pick at #23, Boston College's Gosder Cherilus would work well at tackle.

Finally, a plea to Robert Plant: STOP TOURING WITH ALLISON KRAUSS. Trust me, a lot more people will come and see you if you start touring with Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, and Jason Bonham. You are the reason the anxiously-awaited Led Zeppelin reunion tour hasn't happened yet. The hell with previous commitments; come back and rock.

PS: People are reading this! Fuckin' A, I never thought that would happen. Leave me a comment, even if it's just to tell me I'm a crappy writer; gotta read it to come to that conclusion.

An Unfortunate Series Of Events

I will impart to you a tale of a five-second span of time that took place around 10 AM this morning while on my work site. The events that occurred during aforementioned time span...to put it lightly, they sucked.

First, some background. We are at the stage of construction during which the primary focus of the volunteer crews is to measure, cut, and install the siding on the house. Before the entirety of the walls can be finished, however, the windows in said walls have to be furnished with trim (small pieces of 1x4 that surround the window frame) and a shaped piece of wood that diverts the rain from the top of the trim. That was my task this morning: cut the shaped wood to size and nail it to the top of the trim. This required that I spent time atop an A-frame ladder...nothing that I haven't done many times before. Simple enough.

Last night, however, it rained quite a bit. This would not matter, were it not for the large amounts of mud that surround our site. It ends up everywhere; on the porch, on the trim...and on the ladders. Therein lies the root of the problem, and thus began one of the more unsuccessful five-second segments of my life.

It began with a misguided hammer swing. As anybody who has ever done any nailing before, this is not an uncommon event. Even the professionals miss from time to time. I missed with the hammer, and smacked the piece of shaped wood. It is not a large or sturdy thing, though, so one end cracked off. This was annoying, but still nothing overly serious; when dealing with volunteers (and the occasional stupid Americorps member like myself), one learns quickly to keep extras of everything on hand. I swore and started down the ladder to cut another piece, and it went downhill from there. I had gone two steps downward when I slipped on a chunk of mud on one of the ladder rungs. My feet went out from under me and I dropped about three feet, scaring myself quite badly in the process. My right foot landed oddly against a rock, sending my ankle in the wrong direction. This threw me off balance and I stumbled backwards, cracking my head quite hard against the side of the house. That terrible head-impact feeling of swimming came over me and I attempted to re-orient myself...when the ladder hit me. You see, when I was first falling off the ladder, I unsuccessfully tried to steady myself by grabbing the side of it. Upon landing, there was JUST enough of a pull on the ladder to spur it into a slow but definite descent...which ended when it smacked off my right shoulder and clattered to the ground.

At that point, I was done. In five seconds I had succeeded in not only scared the shit out of myself and dealt significant pain to my foot, ankle, head, and shoulder...but I had FAILED to install the rain-diverting wood as I had intended.

It was not a good day.

Acceleration

Recently I have been overtaken by this crazy urge to go home, get my car, and hit the road. I enjoy Americorps, I enjoy the project that we're working on, I enjoy my team (generally)...but my chronic wanderlust is beginning to awaken. I can't say whether it speaks to my inability to be satisfied somewhere permanently, or my fear that I won't be able to hack it here in the program, but there's a small part of my brain that's already planning various routes and destinations (although to me, arriving at a destination is almost anticlimactic).

My hands are eager to close around my steering wheel and gearshift. Some Springsteen blasting through the radio, quick tap on the clutch with my left foot, just long enough to shift up...right foot down onto the gas. Drop the hammer and set the cruise control at my customary 80 as the little Celica surges down the empty highway into the night...at least that's how I envision it. God damn, I miss being able to drive where and when I want.

An Open Letter to/about Brett Favre

There is word floating around the sports world that Brett Favre might be reconsidering his retirement and coming back to play again. Let me begin by saying that even though I do not possess a Madden-esque man-crush on Favre, I am a big fan. It might, therefore, surprise some when I offer this plea:

Brett, please stay retired.

Here is why. Since he was traded from the Falcons in his 2nd season, he has been the face of the team. From 1992 until 2008, Favre has been synonymous with the Green Bay Packers organization. He has taken the team to two Super Bowls and won Super Bowl XXXI in 1996. He has started 275 consecutive games (the longest such streak in the league by far) and has set virtually every passing record in the book with the Pack, becoming one of the unquestioned legends of the game in the process.

The problem is that if Favre returns, he would be signed not by the Packers, but by one of the several teams around the league desperate for a short-term fix at quarterback (Miami, Baltimore, Atlanta to name a few). To see the Packers' legend in another uniform would be the same as seeing Joe Montana in a Chiefs' uniform during the end of his career, or, god forbid, Jerome Bettis or Hines Ward in another team's colors.

Favre is not a Vinny Testaverde, destined to be dug up and signed to a series of short contracts for different teams. Brett Favre had a legendary career with the team that he led for 16 years, and should retire as a Packer for life.

Frustration

I don't get it. I honestly cannot understand how so many intelligent, capable people can be so constantly and consistently immature. I know this might seem like a theme in my writings, but it keeps getting at me; at what point are people going to just start acting their age? It's not that hard. For those who might mistake my frustration for antipathy, let me just remind you that the reason that I tend to get aggravated is that were it not for these things that I mention, our team would be absolutely amazing. It's these problems that are the reason that our team is, as I found out tonight, on the verge of being disbanded. I have been accused of being a negative influence on the team because I don't join in on all of the bullshit, so I guess I'm the asshole. Right.