After ten months of being stuffed into vans, sleeping on rickety, squeaky cots, overworked to the point of exhaustion on a weekly basis, and living in WAY too close quarters with many many people, my body is finally rebelling. That would explain why I have been battling some unknown sickness for the last three weeks or so, and why yesterday my brain inexplicably decided to release my hands' grip on the heavy item I was holding. Gravity then took over, and aforementioned item (a large roll of plastic wrap) scored a direct hit on a single toe on my right foot, causing immense pain and, more than likely, a fracture. Since then, I have been limping around like fucking Igor from the Frankenstein movies (and am constantly fighting the urge to mutter "Yeessss, masssster" in a sibilant voice) and my toe is swollen to twice its normal size and is a pleasant blackish-purple color. I duct-taped the damned thing to the toe next to it (I don't need no stinkin' doctor...) and have a good five or six ibuprofen swimming around in the bloodstream at the moment, which is about all that can be done.
Enough about that shit. TWO CONSECUTIVE DAYS OFF are upon me, and I barely know what do with myself. Seriously, it's weird...with the exception of our couple days of waiting in Austin, this is the first real two-day break we've had since we flew down in September. Eight days left before we drive back to Denver, then two weeks there and I am done with Americorps...back to the 'Burgh and Christ-knows-what-else. I found out that I've logged over 1800 hours of service since February (and then made the BIG mistake of multiplying that by the federal minimum wage to see how much I SHOULD have made. Note to my fellow Corps members: DO NOT DO THIS. It's depressing.), far more than the 1780 needed for graduation. Good news.
Sports (especially NFL) fans:
Go to ESPN.com and check out Gregg Easterbrook's blog, Tuesday Morning Quarterback. It's the best football-centric blog I've run across thus far. I recommend highly.
I need an air card or something; in the ten-odd minutes I've gone back and forth between this blog and several other websites, the local wireless network has crapped out five times. Lousy FEMA-contracted company...
Update! I mentioned in my earlier post Final Approach that the neighborhood of Sabine Pass, where we worked this spring and summer, would take a 25' storm surge from Hurricane Ike. A week or two ago, I had the opportunity to head down there on a day off and take a look. The bad news was that the town had been hit HARD. Ever see those pictures of a town in the Midwest that had been rocked by a tornado? It was a lot like that...empty foundations, lots of debris laying around, houses bent and cracked by the rush of water. Dry mud was caked all over the ground, and the giant tree that we sat under to eat lunch was ripped out of the ground. Even the streets were littered with various pieces of housing, lawn implements, and vehicles that had fallen victim to the storm. The good news was that the house we worked on was UNTOUCHED, as were the several other Habitat for Humanity-built houses in Sabine. We were fortunate enough to talk to the homeowner that afternoon; she said that the water made it up to the deck (which, if you remember, was raised by pilings 14-odd feet off the ground) but that the house itself was not touched by the water. In fact, she had moved all of her belongings into the house from her trailer (which was subsequently washed away; she never found it) before evacuating. See, we build 'em fucking RIGHT. Suck it, hurricane...you ain't NEVER gonna tear that house down. THAT one I'm proud of.
28 October 2008
24 October 2008
Outlines
During the morning meeting of the warehouse workers a couple days ago, one of the Red Cross managers pointed us out and said, "All of you Americorps guys are great, you work your asses off and you should be proud". This was followed by a round of applause from the 20-odd other people directed at us. I think I should have felt grateful and proud...instead, I felt really uncomfortable. I always do whenever we get applause and praised for what we do. We do work hard, but that's our job. I don't think we should get special credit for doing what we're supposed to. It's like giving your barber a round of applause for cutting your hair, or a mechanic one for fixing your car. Now I am completely in favor of giving a person credit in the form of a tip, a sincere thank-you, a future referral, etc. if they do their job especially well...but to me, a round of applause is a bit over the top for a bunch of young adults schlepping pallets in a warehouse. The sentiment is appreciated, however.
The wanderlust is acting up BAD of late. It's a combination of the isolated nature of our housing and the fact that I have less than a month left before I'm home. I have been rolling around another of my half-assed ideas in the old skull, this one involving a two- or three-month road trip around the country in a couple years, once I save up enough money to pay for gas and other such travel expenses. I'll have friends along for some parts and drive alone for others, and I'll take a camera and some notebooks to keep a record. Like the Great Anchorage Race, it's in the conceptual stages at the moment, but here's hoping.
Haven't done an NFL bit in a while, so here goes:
-Peyton Manning has spent the last seven games doing his best JP Losman imitation, and for the good of the Colts (and my fantasy team) it needs to stop.
-The upcoming Steelers-Giants game might be far more than a great game between two 5-1 teams...it very well could be a preview of the Super Bowl.
-You know the situation is serious when Troy Polamalu, of all people, speaks out.
-You do not fine Hines Ward, Hines Ward fines YOU.
-The Arizona Cardinals and Buffalo Bills are making the playoffs this year. I called it before the season, and I'm sticking to it.
-The NFL's best team, record-wise, is being led by KERRY COLLINS. Who'da thunk it?
The wanderlust is acting up BAD of late. It's a combination of the isolated nature of our housing and the fact that I have less than a month left before I'm home. I have been rolling around another of my half-assed ideas in the old skull, this one involving a two- or three-month road trip around the country in a couple years, once I save up enough money to pay for gas and other such travel expenses. I'll have friends along for some parts and drive alone for others, and I'll take a camera and some notebooks to keep a record. Like the Great Anchorage Race, it's in the conceptual stages at the moment, but here's hoping.
Haven't done an NFL bit in a while, so here goes:
-Peyton Manning has spent the last seven games doing his best JP Losman imitation, and for the good of the Colts (and my fantasy team) it needs to stop.
-The upcoming Steelers-Giants game might be far more than a great game between two 5-1 teams...it very well could be a preview of the Super Bowl.
-You know the situation is serious when Troy Polamalu, of all people, speaks out.
-You do not fine Hines Ward, Hines Ward fines YOU.
-The Arizona Cardinals and Buffalo Bills are making the playoffs this year. I called it before the season, and I'm sticking to it.
-The NFL's best team, record-wise, is being led by KERRY COLLINS. Who'da thunk it?
17 October 2008
What's That Spell? CENTRAL
I miss Central Catholic. That's not a statement that anybody who knows me well would EVER have expected me to make several years ago, but I've been finding that it's more and more true as time goes by. I miss the camaraderie that comes with spending four years with 800 guys, the associations that become friendships that become brotherhoods and fellowships. The traditions and formality that soon become everyday routine, the sense of pride you get from being a Central student, the "Central mystique" that sounds crazy at first, but turns out to be truth. I miss it all.
Most of all, though, I miss the football games. At the same time that the leaves begin to change and the weather begins to cool in Pittsburgh, other things happen. High school stadium lights click on, grills get fired up...and the most fanatic student section in football suits up and invades the stadiums of Quad-A schools everywhere. Central doesn't have a home stadium; they use CMU's field for their one or two home games a year. Thus, the rest are away...but they don't seem like it. The Central Catholic student section is legendary around the Pittsburgh area for their massive turnout and absolute insanity. Rival fans (Woodland Hills, Penn Hills, Gateway, etc) absolutely despise us, because we invade their stadiums and, more often than not, beat the hell out of them in their own house. Some of the best memories I have of my four years at Central have come from football games (the bullhorn at Woodland Hills, almost getting shot at Penn Hills, the epic tailgate in Central's parking lot before the game at CMU, the comeback at Heinz Field for the WPIAL Championship, collapsing the fence at Hersheypark after the State Championship win...) and I really wish I could go back and relive them.
Most of all, though, I miss the football games. At the same time that the leaves begin to change and the weather begins to cool in Pittsburgh, other things happen. High school stadium lights click on, grills get fired up...and the most fanatic student section in football suits up and invades the stadiums of Quad-A schools everywhere. Central doesn't have a home stadium; they use CMU's field for their one or two home games a year. Thus, the rest are away...but they don't seem like it. The Central Catholic student section is legendary around the Pittsburgh area for their massive turnout and absolute insanity. Rival fans (Woodland Hills, Penn Hills, Gateway, etc) absolutely despise us, because we invade their stadiums and, more often than not, beat the hell out of them in their own house. Some of the best memories I have of my four years at Central have come from football games (the bullhorn at Woodland Hills, almost getting shot at Penn Hills, the epic tailgate in Central's parking lot before the game at CMU, the comeback at Heinz Field for the WPIAL Championship, collapsing the fence at Hersheypark after the State Championship win...) and I really wish I could go back and relive them.
13 October 2008
Warehouse
Ford Center Complex
Beaumont, TX
Four-odd months after leaving Beaumont and swearing never to return...we are back. Naturally. This time, we're living in a MASSIVE tent set up behind the Ford Center Arena. It's relatively comfortable (for a tent, that is...) and the food isn't half bad either. Our place of employment is a huge warehouse up north in Kountz, which could possibly qualify for the title of World's Most Disorganized Distribution Center. It is full of thousands of pallets of various food items, paper products, cleaning supplies, household items, etc...all of which are intermingled and mixed with each other. Our job is to separate, classify, organize and inventory all of it, while at the same time trying to deal with dozens of incoming and outgoing truckloads of supplies. We're working with a dozen-odd Red Cross volunteers and the owner and several employees of a trucking company who have put their business on hold to transport these supplies around the Gulf Coast. It is physically demanding; entire pallet-loads of food have to be moved, transferred, and repackaged. The good news is that by the end of our deployment, I will most likely be an OSHA-certified forklift operator! Gotta look on the bright side...
But it's hard. I can't really understand why (well, I can, but I'd just rather not explain it) but I have been feeling down lately. It's a combination of exhaustion, the issue that I would rather not mention, and the fact that I'm so burned out on Americorps. It seems like years since I first flew out, and I've just had more than enough of all the bullshit. I want to get back to living my own fucking life without having to worry about people looking over my shoulder all the time, and dealing with being jerked around and treated like slaves. It's just worn on me, and the only thing that allows me to get up day after day and go to work is the thought that in less than three weeks I will be back in Denver, and in only a little more than a month I will be home.
Beaumont, TX
Four-odd months after leaving Beaumont and swearing never to return...we are back. Naturally. This time, we're living in a MASSIVE tent set up behind the Ford Center Arena. It's relatively comfortable (for a tent, that is...) and the food isn't half bad either. Our place of employment is a huge warehouse up north in Kountz, which could possibly qualify for the title of World's Most Disorganized Distribution Center. It is full of thousands of pallets of various food items, paper products, cleaning supplies, household items, etc...all of which are intermingled and mixed with each other. Our job is to separate, classify, organize and inventory all of it, while at the same time trying to deal with dozens of incoming and outgoing truckloads of supplies. We're working with a dozen-odd Red Cross volunteers and the owner and several employees of a trucking company who have put their business on hold to transport these supplies around the Gulf Coast. It is physically demanding; entire pallet-loads of food have to be moved, transferred, and repackaged. The good news is that by the end of our deployment, I will most likely be an OSHA-certified forklift operator! Gotta look on the bright side...
But it's hard. I can't really understand why (well, I can, but I'd just rather not explain it) but I have been feeling down lately. It's a combination of exhaustion, the issue that I would rather not mention, and the fact that I'm so burned out on Americorps. It seems like years since I first flew out, and I've just had more than enough of all the bullshit. I want to get back to living my own fucking life without having to worry about people looking over my shoulder all the time, and dealing with being jerked around and treated like slaves. It's just worn on me, and the only thing that allows me to get up day after day and go to work is the thought that in less than three weeks I will be back in Denver, and in only a little more than a month I will be home.
06 October 2008
A Sudden Rush of Efficiency?
ExtendedStay America
Austin, TX
Unsurprisingly, we have moved again. The Red Cross finally released us from their disaster relief operation, and we've been reassigned through the Denver campus to work with FEMA in Texas. After a seven-hour drive from Lafayette to Austin, we settled in at this ExtendedStay (which, to be honest, beats the hell out of a volunteer shelter). Today, we drove into the FEMA headquarters here in Austin, set up on both floors of an old department store at one end of a large mall. After going through the registration and screening process (to make sure we weren't secretly subversives trying to wreak havoc on...the disaster response, I suppose), we had a mind-numbingly boring two hours of training.
What happened next was the surprising part. A Unit Leader from the Perry Point campus got up and told us that we would have two days off here in Austin, then we would be assigned to a number of local DRCs (Disaster Response Centers) in and around the affected areas. Our job would be to run the intake and registration for these centers, giving the regular FEMA staff members the opportunity to start doing client casework. This shocked me...not because of the nature of our job or anything, but rather the fact that we were being told exactly what we had been assigned to do. FEMA, of all organizations, had apparently the wherewithal to realize the asset they had in our several Americorps teams, and had been able to assign us to somewhere where we could do some good. Shocking!
Of course, with three days until we're actually sent out, there are still some uncertainties. For example, we are not sure where exactly we will be assigned. I, for one, am hoping for Houston...but it's possible that we will be going to Beaumont (AGAIN?!) or the devastated region of Galveston. We also do not know our housing, whether it will be hotels (crossing my fingers for that one, obviously), staff shelters, or camping. But it's nice to have at least a tentative timeline, and an even more firm job assignment.
Austin, TX
Unsurprisingly, we have moved again. The Red Cross finally released us from their disaster relief operation, and we've been reassigned through the Denver campus to work with FEMA in Texas. After a seven-hour drive from Lafayette to Austin, we settled in at this ExtendedStay (which, to be honest, beats the hell out of a volunteer shelter). Today, we drove into the FEMA headquarters here in Austin, set up on both floors of an old department store at one end of a large mall. After going through the registration and screening process (to make sure we weren't secretly subversives trying to wreak havoc on...the disaster response, I suppose), we had a mind-numbingly boring two hours of training.
What happened next was the surprising part. A Unit Leader from the Perry Point campus got up and told us that we would have two days off here in Austin, then we would be assigned to a number of local DRCs (Disaster Response Centers) in and around the affected areas. Our job would be to run the intake and registration for these centers, giving the regular FEMA staff members the opportunity to start doing client casework. This shocked me...not because of the nature of our job or anything, but rather the fact that we were being told exactly what we had been assigned to do. FEMA, of all organizations, had apparently the wherewithal to realize the asset they had in our several Americorps teams, and had been able to assign us to somewhere where we could do some good. Shocking!
Of course, with three days until we're actually sent out, there are still some uncertainties. For example, we are not sure where exactly we will be assigned. I, for one, am hoping for Houston...but it's possible that we will be going to Beaumont (AGAIN?!) or the devastated region of Galveston. We also do not know our housing, whether it will be hotels (crossing my fingers for that one, obviously), staff shelters, or camping. But it's nice to have at least a tentative timeline, and an even more firm job assignment.
01 October 2008
Depression
Warning: this post contains a great deal of stream-of-consciousness writing. It doesn't necessarily make perfect sense, nor is it necessarily perfectly accurate. I'm just writing it as I think it. Be warned.
Fuck I'm sick of this. I'm a fucking janitor for this stupid volunteer housing center in the middle of nowhere, Louisiana. An hour of work in the morning cleaning bathrooms and wiping off tables, and that's it for the day. Fourteen hours of lounging around, trying to find food and looking at Facebook every five minutes, then trying to get some sleep before getting up and doing it again the next day. I am an Americorps member, and I will get things done, indeed.
I'm so fucking done with this program. Previously, I could overlook all of the middle-school drama and the absurd rules because of the work; when it came down to it, I was doing some good for people that need it. Now, though, we're trapped in some bureaucrat's wet dream, hanging in limbo until the Red Cross, or Americorps staff, or FEMA, or United Way, or fucking NATO or whoever the hell is in charge gets their shit together and figures out that a trained, qualified, experienced Americorps team SHOULD NOT BE CLEANING FUCKING BATHROOMS. So, I'm fed up with it. I'm sick of moving every three days only to do nothing time and time again. I'm sick of not having my iPod anymore because some cock breath stole it. I'm sick of seeing and working with the same immature people day after day. I'm sick of not being able to drive anywhere. I'm sick of being treated like a four-year-old. I'm sick of being discarded by people I care about for people that don't care about them. I gave up basically two years of college and ten months of my life, and for what?
I can't help but think that life is passing me by, and has been for a while. I keep doing these things that I think will make me a better person, but it seems like it just results in more wasted time. I have this desperate fear that I'm going to end up in my 40's or 50's, looking back in disbelief and wondering where the hell my life went, wondering why I didn't enjoy it when I was young enough to do so. I don't know, maybe I'm just being overly paranoid, but it's hard when all of my friends and the people I grew up with are off living life and doing cool things...and I'm here sweeping the floors in Louisiana, hundreds of miles and months away from anybody that gives a damn.
Fuck I'm sick of this. I'm a fucking janitor for this stupid volunteer housing center in the middle of nowhere, Louisiana. An hour of work in the morning cleaning bathrooms and wiping off tables, and that's it for the day. Fourteen hours of lounging around, trying to find food and looking at Facebook every five minutes, then trying to get some sleep before getting up and doing it again the next day. I am an Americorps member, and I will get things done, indeed.
I'm so fucking done with this program. Previously, I could overlook all of the middle-school drama and the absurd rules because of the work; when it came down to it, I was doing some good for people that need it. Now, though, we're trapped in some bureaucrat's wet dream, hanging in limbo until the Red Cross, or Americorps staff, or FEMA, or United Way, or fucking NATO or whoever the hell is in charge gets their shit together and figures out that a trained, qualified, experienced Americorps team SHOULD NOT BE CLEANING FUCKING BATHROOMS. So, I'm fed up with it. I'm sick of moving every three days only to do nothing time and time again. I'm sick of not having my iPod anymore because some cock breath stole it. I'm sick of seeing and working with the same immature people day after day. I'm sick of not being able to drive anywhere. I'm sick of being treated like a four-year-old. I'm sick of being discarded by people I care about for people that don't care about them. I gave up basically two years of college and ten months of my life, and for what?
I can't help but think that life is passing me by, and has been for a while. I keep doing these things that I think will make me a better person, but it seems like it just results in more wasted time. I have this desperate fear that I'm going to end up in my 40's or 50's, looking back in disbelief and wondering where the hell my life went, wondering why I didn't enjoy it when I was young enough to do so. I don't know, maybe I'm just being overly paranoid, but it's hard when all of my friends and the people I grew up with are off living life and doing cool things...and I'm here sweeping the floors in Louisiana, hundreds of miles and months away from anybody that gives a damn.
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