Sorry, Folks...

We are a volunteer center. We organize needs and assign volunteers to meet them. That's IT. We are NOT:

-the Red Cross
-FEMA
-the Indiana Council on Aging
-the Department of Homeland Security
-omniscient (unfortunately)
-the food bank
-Sears
-totally organized yet (give us time)
-capable of finding your Social Security check
-Medicare/Medicaid
-a babysitter (no, we have no jobs for a 7-year old)
-capable of cross-referencing files for the entire state of Indiana
-capable of giving you directions to anywhere in the county
-FEMA (seriously, stop calling us and getting mad when we're not)
-fond of being bitched at over the phone because you told us the wrong information
-capable of pulling an endless stream of volunteers out of our ass
-a FUCKING BABYSITTER (stop bringing your children, dammit!)
-capable of giving you money because you didn't get your welfare check

We have had many people expecting us to be all of these above listed things (as well as many more that I'm not remembering at the moment) on numerous occasions.