Well, Damn

Grand Island, NE

If any of my VAST readership hails from the great state of Iowa, I would like to reassure you tonight: you are safe. Your tax dollars are being well-spent by the Iowa State Police to mount massive, coordinated efforts to halt what most would agree is the most ominous threat facing the Hawkeye State. Yes, you guessed it: speeders. The Iowa State Police put on a magnificent display this morning, using two spotter aircraft and no less than eight cruisers to pull over motorists on Interstate 35, including two large vans with government plates. I was behind the wheel of one of those vans, and I have to say that the effort expended was well-worth stopping us dangerous scofflaws, who showed a blatant disregard for the law and the posted speed limit of 70 mph. The fact that we were keeping pace with traffic at 80 mph is irrelevant, as is the fact that traveling slower than the flow of traffic is a nuisance at best and dangerous at worst. What IS relevant is that a major victory was scored for law and order today in Iowa. Thank you, state troopers of that wonderful, flat state.

Now sod off.